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Sunday, May 14 Confrontation Talk.***: why must follow western ancestors religion why cannot follow our own china ancestors? me: ultimately all the ancestors goes down to only 2 person right? ***: ... (changed topic) me: why not you go to church and hear for yourself instead of judging based on what you see and hear from people. ***: over my dead body i tell you. until the day i die, i also won't go to church i tell you. me: ... (chua dio) ***: i told my siblings if they dare to preach to me, i will severe ties with them. me: ... (chua till cannot chua anymore.) ***: i tell you, you become a christian you make me hate christianity more. me: ... (what the hell...) that was my day, 13th May 2006, an hour of talk.. okay maybe not talk, an hour of argument which is left open ended. i don't why and how to describe it all but all i could remember was all these. and i don't want to go deeper into it anymore. shocked, hurt, doubts.. and whatever you can think of, i got it all. the blows we have both exchanged.. hai zhen de shi don't know how to say. and so i wonder, "God.. tell me what you want. what's the meaning of this..?" Heli Dont ask me why 2:23 PM Sunday, May 7 Special?have you ever wondered how special you're to a certain someone? so special to an extent.. you know his or her world is going to crash and tore so badly when you're not around. and then you sigh, wondering if your presence is supposed to be in the first place. you wondered if you've added glows to him or her or increase the space for more darkness to creep in. am i special? feels odd. i think i've changed a little. ha.. "wo shi bu shi gai an jing de zou kai, hai shi gai yong gan liu xia lai" Heli Dont ask me why 7:51 PM Friday, May 5 When the singer's goneLet the song go on It's a fine line between the darkness and the dawn They say in the darkest night, there's a light beyond But the ending always comes at last Endings always come too fast They come too fast But they pass too slow I love you and that's all I know Heli Dont ask me why 10:09 PM Monday, May 1 there comes this moment, hah i'm so lazy and losing touch with updating people about my life. i'm just so bo chap about what's next already actually.. i'm more open to hearing ni men de sheng huo..so.. jiang zhen de, don't know what to say anymore down here. but, nah i'm not quitting blogging.. but its like, i don't know what to continue, don't know what is this thing about blogging you know.. don't know.. do i sound a little weird? feeling tired of saying much and i'm starting to close and close. how.. haha i think i'm becoming a little more anti social in that sense. talk to me people. =) "bi shang yen, mo nian shang bian, call my name and i will be there.." Heli Dont ask me why 8:58 PM |
Personal archives 2002.11 .: Thoughts :. I know i have to let you go.. Everyone tells me this is so... See, my life has stopped since You passed away Sometimes i can't bear it Even for one more day.. Thoughts of you consume me Every second of everyday I just want it back you know The way things used to be... In my life you held the key And now i have just your memory And though this is not enough for me This is how it has to be... I need to laugh again without feeling guilty You aren't here... I feel so alone & full of tear It's so terribly hard when all that's Left is tears... Mum, i wish you are here Just plainly listening to me... I promise to keep you safe Where you have always been of course In my heart, that's the place... |